Early in his career, when The Reverend Duncan M. Gray III took the reins as rector of St. Peter’s, Oxford, he got a call from his father, The Right Reverend Duncan M. Gray Jr. The elder Gray was bishop at the time, so he also happened to be his son’s boss. Just as they were about to end the call, the bishop interjected with the ominous words “oh, by the way…”

“You know, that’s always a bad sign—‘oh, by the way,’” says the younger Gray.

What his boss wanted was for him to add to his responsibilities looking after a tiny church in neighboring Water Valley called The Church of the Nativity. With that, a relationship began that would resurface through the rest of his career.

“In those days, we only had two services at St. Peter’s,” he recalls, “so I’d finish the eight o’clock service and get in my car, keep my vestments on, and drive like a bat out of hell to Water Valley. And when that service was done I was back in the car to get back to Oxford for another one.”

The fortunes of both Water Valley and Nativity went south in the 1990s. As bishop, Gray had to make the sad but necessary decision to close the church’s doors in 2003. By the late 2010s, however, the town was on the rise again, bolstered by the steady growth of Oxford and an influx of artists attracted to the affordable and charming community.

With that resurgence came the need for a renewed Episcopal presence in town, and Nativity was reopened by Bishop Brian Seage in 2017. Gray was getting settled into semi-retirement in Oxford by then. After spending a couple years back on the St. Peter’s staff, in 2022 he gave returning to the pew a try for the first time in nearly forty years. That lasted about six weeks.

“Doggone it,” he says, “sitting in the pew knowing that I was not going to have access to celebrating the Eucharist, I just said, ‘that’s not for me.’”

The timing was perfect. Just as Gray informed Bishop Seage that he wanted a post, Nativity came calling again. The Rev. Ann Whitaker, who had sustained the church through the pandemic, needed to retire, so Gray met with the mission committee that spring and was instantly impressed by the values they expressed.

“Everyone talked about, essentially, a way to impact the community,” he says. “They didn’t say, we want to be fifty percent bigger in 10 years, or we want a full-time priest eventually. I was impressed by that.”
That service-oriented spirit made Gray and the people of Water Valley a great match.

“Duncan has helped us focus on what we can do to better serve the people of Water Valley,” says James McCormick, who currently serves as Nativity’s Senior Warden. “We have been invigorated by Duncan’s steady hand and relentless message of love, faith, and hope.”

That mission is perhaps best embodied by the establishment of the “Salt and Light” building across the street from the sanctuary, envisioned by parishioners as not just a parish hall for Nativity, but as a resource center for the entire community. The building hosts meetings for a foster family support group and an Alcoholics Anonymous group. Plans are underway to start a Cub Scout program. And the church’s “Blessing Box”—a “take what you need, give what you can” food resource, serves people in the community facing hunger issues.

And while growth was never the goal, the vitality that has taken hold has resulted in plenty of it—Nativity has seen weekly attendance quadruple over the last two years. Rising membership has led to increased giving, which has expanded the possibilities to serve the community.

“Bishop Gray leads in a very gracious and loving way,” says Treasurer Robbie Fisher. “He inspires, empowers, and encourages others to make a difference, not only in our little church, but in our local community and the world.”

The impact of Gray’s presence has been undeniable for McCormick.

“Picture this,” he says. “We had a pretty good little neighborhood garage band going, and then Mick Jagger comes along and says, ‘Hey, can I join the band?’”

That difference doesn’t just come in the form of service. Nativity occupies a niche in town as a viable church home for people who’ve settled in Water Valley and might struggle to fit in in very traditional small town churches. One of the first things people notice, Gray points out, is the church’s sign, which proclaims in rainbow lettering “All Are Welcome.”

And Nativity has become a welcome home for Gray and his wife, Kathy, as their journey comes full circle. The couple makes the 25-minute journey to the Valley together Sunday mornings, and she has taken on duties with both the altar and flower guilds. For Gray, it’s exactly the kind of semi-retirement he wants.

“To be able to worship with the community on a regular basis, that’s what I missed, profoundly, as bishop,” he says. “I enjoyed that experience, every Sunday in a different place. Still, there wasn’t the cumulative effect of week after week in the same place, where just the normal ebbs and flows of human life knit you together.”